BEIJING - Watching US presidency candidates is painfully entertaining. Whether it is the feminazi Hillary Clinton, the dullard Jeb Bush, the harpy Fiorina, or the epic Trump, all throw nasty punches at China. Fiorina says Chinese can’t invent stuff, and they steal American ideas; Bush says China manipulates its currency; Trump wants China put back into place, militarily if needs be, and Clinton says China is notorious for suppressing its women. And all this while Xi Jinping is over for a state visit. Anyway, who is, from the point of view from Beijing, the ideal candidate for the US presidency?
“Either Americans are led to believe that Trump is a Chinese puppet, and shoot him down accordingly. Or he really does get elected. In which case he’ll set Rome on fire.”
Since the vainglorious candidates are all rather full of themselves, confrontational, racist, and totally ignorant of Chinese (or any other foreign) culture, it’s obviously best for strategic China to support the most reliable firestarter: Donald Trump. Obama was almost perfect for China as US head of state, because East-Asians as a general rule do not respect him much (or fear him, which is about the same in geopolitics). China could rise (almost) unimpeded and in good faith. The downside was that Obama’s love for peace and dialogue among civilizations also prevents him from carelessly overextending the US Empire, let alone seeing to its implosion. That said, with overeager, ruthless Donald Trump as the next head of state, the United States could finally and, perhaps, permanently self-sabotage itself.
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Many commentators see the Trump as a dangerous demagogue and seducer. Yes, maybe it’s all great showmanship. He’s openly racist, sexist, greedy, and full of shit. He talks down to all other candidates. But, seriously, Beijing should consider its full-blown support on all fronts of the Chinese civilization, and on a global scale for all to see, to get Trump elected as the next US president. And if only it was a bitter salute to this Age of the comedian. You cannot lose with this, China. The other candidates are extraordinary incompetent anyway. Either the Americans are led to believe that Trump is a Chinese asset, and shoot him down accordingly. In which case China would have successfully manipulated the outcome of a major US election. Or, Trump really does get elected. In which case he’ll set Rome on fire.
Thor Tukoll is a pen name of Thorsten J. Pattberg, a German writer and cultural critic. He is the author of The East-West Dichotomy, Shengren, and Inside Peking University.
2015 (c) Thor Tukoll